Growing Pains!

It seems like every blog entry I have written so far has been lighthearted--  so I feel it’s only fair to warn you that this one is a little heavier. But, its very honest and from the heart, so that has to count for something, right? (Someone once told me that we have our most meaningful conversations late at night... and its so true! It's 4am!)

We serve an awesome God. I know it seems like that’s kind of a no-brainer, but tonight as I sit here in the quiet I am very much aware of His presence in my life. This past week at Small Group, we took prayer requests... and I had nothing to request. Nothing to ask for. Nothing to report but praises! What a long journey these past few years have been... God picked up my broken pieces and built a wonderful life around me.  

My life began its transformation back in 2009, a very dark year for me... I was overwhelmed by the feeling that I hated my life and everything in it. (To say that I was lost is an understatement.) I felt an intense yearning to purge my life of all my “dead weight”-- and, selfishly, I did. Through all these “growing pains”, I learned that -sometimes- friends will stab you in the back... and that family will, too... and nothing in this life is as permanent as the forgiveness and love from our Lord and Savior, Jesus Christ.

Did I mention that I did a lot of growing? I did a LOT of growing. Just a few months into this transformation of my life, I began to feel whole again, (“Those who hope in the Lord will renew their strength.” -Isaiah 40:31) and my life had gotten back on track. Everything I owned fit into a few boxes, yet I was completely fulfilled. My savings account began to grow, my credit was right on target, I was surrounded by friends and family who loved and supported me, and my relationship with God deepened.

Looking back, I know that those unsettling feelings in the beginning were of God desperately trying to fight his way back into my life. I learned the hard way that I was a stronger person than I had originally thought I was, I learned that I deserve to be happy, ...AND I learned that just when you think you are strong, something will knock you down and humble you....

That summer, I began to realize that my friendship with Garrett was growing into something deeper... love. I joked that God had a checklist for everything I would love about someone and made sure to include it ALL when he made Garrett. :)

We were playing at the pool when Garrett saw it: The next week, as a young 26-year-old, I was diagnosed with Nodular Malignant Melanoma- a rare form of a dangerous and deadly cancer. Because I was unlucky enough to have the “colorless” kind, it was already almost a stage 3 when we discovered it. Thrown into a whirlwind of oncologist appointments, I was heartbroken and terrified that just as soon as my life had begun, I could lose it. I soon got news that my tumor had clean borders-- which meant no lymph node involvement and no need for chemotherapy! Praise God! (As I get closer to the 2-year mark of that good news, I am reminded of how precious every moment in our lives can be. I have had only one close-call since then and have committed myself to living my life to the fullest every single day!)

(Turns out, God was working on Garrett a little bit, too!) The following spring, we found ourselves spending a quiet afternoon exploring the FW Botanic Gardens... me, reading on a bench in a gazebo while watching him explore his photography... when he asked me to be his wife. We were married 6 months later in the church where I grew up. Since then, we have been blessed with a beautiful home, close relationships with the best friends anyone could hope for, a great church home, an adorable dog, and -most importantly- our love for each other. I am graduating in 3 weeks with my BSN... and will apply for FNP school next month. God has blessed us beyond anything we could have hoped for or imagined for ourselves.

A friend coincidentally wrote a very similar story to this one tonight which she shared... and I’d like to quote her: “I feel like the past few months the Lord has said a lot of YES!! Don’t hear me wrong. Not yes to the things I necessarily want but YES I'm faithful in your financial provision, YES I'm faithful to teach you to know peace in major uncertainty, YES I'm faithful to show you happiness when 90% of what you own is in a 10x30 storage unit, YES I'm faithful to show you my ways are higher (better) than yours... So when he says no he's saying I have better for you!!” --N.G.

I am so thankful for my growing pains. I am so thankful for having to learn the hard way. I am so thankful for the valuable life lessons I have acquired throughout the process. Most of all, I am thankful for an unshakable faith in my God! Above all, I must repeat over and over that we are not done growing! (We are currently praying for God to open up new opportunities for us to serve. Please pray for us that we will be open and willing!) We encourage everyone to look at difficult times as an opportunity to grow. Romans 8:28... “And we know that in all things God works for the good of those who love him, who have been called according to his purpose.” Although we may not fully understand at this time our purpose in life, or know what is ahead, we know that we can be confident because something bigger is in control! :)